Pope Francis fills staff Christmas stocking with paracetamol

 VATICAN CITY – The staff of his tiny city-state must be wondering what they did to get on the wrong side of Pope Francis this year. Instead of a traditional Panettone or Prosecco to fill the staff Christmas stocking, the pope has opted for paracetamol.

 According to Il Messaggero, the penny-wise pope has allocated five boxes per staff member of an anti-flu medication, which will no doubt see them through the winter season.

 The gift appears to be a symptom of the malaise that has hit the Holy See’s coffers - a drastic reduction in tourist revenue. Pandemic restrictions have led to the closure of the Vatican Museums, which may not re-open until mid-January.